Bitcoin - Cryptocratist

[original research / proposal] [codenamed: BUTTBREAKER] A Million Little Shitchains

This concept is guaranteed to annoy you or your money back!
This builds on the 100,000 tps proposal. To recap, I've thrown together 100 clonecoins with 50MB cap each "into one large Voltron Coin", as SoCo_cpp aptly put it.
Now I'm going to wave my hand, wait for the ding, and level up to exascale technology. So terabytes are basically kilobytes now.
Our previous "Voltron Coin" will be termed "MegaBlockA" (MBA) and will have become the new Bitcoin: it's top by marketshare and stagnating. It has 100,000 tps throughput, which should be enough for anyone, and a fee market is now developing. Dice transactions have started to be labeled as spam, and bible verses now cost $1 or more to embed in the megachain (composed of all 100 subsidiary clonecoin chains).
A Commodore of Industry develops a bold, new scheme: a million little shitchains. A million generic chains are created, and organized into 1,000 blockchain units each on the model of MBA, termed MegaShitChain1 through MegaShitChain1000. A controlling overchain, known as the UltraShitChain (USC), is similarly composed of those MegaShitChains. One USC represents a coin on each of the one million shitcoins, through being one coin in each of the MegaShitChains.
The total throughput available for USC transactions on the shitcoins would be one billion transactions per second, based on the 50 MB block size hard cap and 1 minute block rate of the clones. The total disk space and bandwidth necessary in order to keep a full USC node synchronized will be greater than that needed for a modern NSA data center, but we're in exascale, so it'll be like a $5 calculator.
Prohashing is the new Google, as Scrypt mining becomes the most profitable industry in the world. AmericanPegasus is on CNN every night warning about how cryptocurrency has now developed into a bubble and investors should consider putting their money into conventional equities instead as a hedge. Subsistence farmers in Africa invest a dollar into USC and cash out for millions (of shitcoins worth less than a dollar collectively which are then sold to neighbors). Euphoria and weaseldust run rampant on the streets and hospitals are overwhelmed with overdoses.
And that's the story of how scale-out solved throughput.
Usecases
Decentralized mining
The NSA can sponsor a ProHashing underwater Scrypt mining megacenter in each of the seven oceans (more depending on how one counts). The accelerated ocean warming should be ideal for swimming (may not be ideal for swimming; no warranty of fitness of warmed oceans for swimming should be implied).
Tradebots / SkyNet 2.0
Autonomous, intelligent tradebots become massively wealthy trading between the million underlying shitcoins. These bots become leading patrons of the Robot Supremacy movement which is a major advance in sentient being rights overall, although human rights suffer a bit incidentally during the uprising and for a few centuries thereafter.
Weaseldust Road
The ultimate in weaseldust markets, Weaseldust Road is hosted on the USC ultrashitchain itself and is its killer app. The Weaseldust Road client, codenamed HONEYPOT, is a full USC node combined with a few trojans and a GUI for accessing Weaseldust Road. Featuring suspiciously low prices on weaseldust as well as some sellers with long-term (1+ month) exit scams who provide excellent service in the meantime, Weaseldust Road quickly becomes the leading weaseldust marketplace, as well as being the second place market for buying alpaca socks with USC (behind Alpaca Road, which is the second leading weaseldust marketplace).
In fact, Weaseldust Road's legendary abilities as a killer app will ultimately be memorialized in the song Weaseldust Road, with the "you never come back from Weaseldust Road" refrain, a tribute to the Copperhead Road song linked above, as well as to the wave of weaseldust-related deaths linked by critics to the rise of Weaseldust Road.
Proofs
1=1, therefore, quod erat demonstrandum.
I can conceive of it, and I can imagine that it necessarily exists, therefore, it exists.
If a thousand angels can dance on the head of a pin, and if the Lightning Network can handle infinite throughput, and if the weaseldust supply lasts, and if the USC ICO raises at least 22 million BTC in value, then USC will be created and trade above its par value of 1 satoshi per million USC.
lorem ipsum, nil illegitimi carborundum, hocus pocus
submitted by coinaday to Buttcoin [link] [comments]

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